I love how in A Wrinkle in Time it says something along the lines of how sometimes people may give their.life up in order to become a light source in efforts to keep the darkness at bay.
I’m tired of playing the game. I’m tired of this fucking system. I’m tired of catering to to white, hetero-normative, mildly wealthy, christian, able bodied, young people who identify as men.
Fuck all of this shit man.
I’m tired of the hate, I’m tired of the racism, I’m tired of the lies, I’m tired of people being sheep, I’m tired of being paid fucking nothing, I’m tired of working 40 hours and still not making rent, I’m tired of being treated as incompetent by everyone who comes into Target despite the fact I could run intellectual circles around them, I’m tired of playing down my accomplishments because the world can’t be okay with the fact that I should be successful, I’m tired my loved ones getting shitted on all the time, I’m tired of capitalism, I’m tired of the loss of human rights, I’m tired of this fake society that cares more about sports and celebrities that it does about starving people and an uneducated society, I’m tired of being in debt because I want an education, I’m tired of the comments like “you’re not even really black,” I’m tired of this war on drugs that’s nothing more than a war on people of color, I’m tired of smiling everyday when I don’t mean it, I’m tired of being nice because no one likes an upset man of color, I’m tired of the superficial and materialistic people who plague society, I’m tired of seeing people on so many pills because this society has driven their minds into darkness, I’m tired of the lack of accountability, I’m tired of the corrupt judicial system that doesn’t help very many people, I’m tired of my students being devalued because of their culture and income, I’m tired of offensive slurs, I’m tired of not being able to make mistakes, I’m tired of being around everyone, I’m tired of cancerous chemicals in the only food I can afford to eat, I’m tired of not having tears to cry, I’m tired of my own thoughts, I’m tired of being tired.
Life is a game and I’m tired of playing. I’m really sorry if you’ve invested in me, but I can’t keep doing this. I don’t like these rules and not many people try to change them, so call me a party pooper if you want, but I just can’t keep playing.
I really hope things get better in the future, but I mean everyone seems fine with being a mentally and physically ill puppet. It’s in the eyes, you can just feel them crying out for salvation that will never come.
Here’s some advice for the future, learn the plights of others and then make a change for the better.
I just had the worst 11 hour shift in my life. I spent 11 hours picking up after the most fucked up customers. I swear I’m going to go off if they don’t chill the fuck out. 4pm-3am is not fun. I’m going to bed.